Pregnancy Phenomena

My midwife once told me that after delivering hundreds of babies, it still amazes her. The whole conception to birth experience is in fact amazing - a miracle that baffles science. The changes, however, are not limited to the woman alone; plenty also occur to those with whom she interacts.


Sudden Freedom to Touch a Woman's Body

As far as I am aware, Ms. Manners does not allow for personal contact aside from a simple hug or handshake; therefore, I don't understand why complete strangers think it is okay to touch a pregnant belly (as if it is somehow detached from the woman). While I have only had this happen on a few occasions, it is still a bit unnerving. For example, we were at a wedding about 6 weeks before Andrew was born, and the bride (whom we had never met) stood with her hands on my belly for a full 5 minutes. Maybe I should have reached out and done the same.


Sudden Freedom to Speculate on the "Right" Gender

I realize that this is a big issue for a lot of people, and I have spent a great deal of time wondering about the sex (okay, maybe in past pregnancies; this time, I live with the assumption of boy). There's the question, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Well, if I say "girl" and it's a boy, people will think I'm disappointed; if I say "boy" and it's a boy, people think I'm crazy; if I say "girl" and it's a girl, then people think I've been living in discontentment for years; if I say "boy" and it's a girl, people launch into the whole "unprepared-for-a-girl-and-she'll-be-scarred-for-life-for-wearing-blue." It's a no-win situation.


Then there is the insistence by so many strangers and friends that "this time it's a girl" as if that the goal of my life. These are the same people, who may have just finished singing, "Whate're My God Ordains is Right." I'm sorry people, but the cards have been dealt a long time ago, and while Doug had some blind part in the choice, my hands are tied. I am at the mercy of God 'cause there's nothing I can do.


Sudden Freedom to Speak Your Mind

There's the sweet lady in the store who smiles and asks in the kindest voice, "Oh, is this your first?" and when she is informed that "No, it's my fourth," her sweet voice goes into a flat, "Oh."


There's the ever-encouraging, "You are so huge." Now, granted, I am perfectly aware of the power of fluctuating hormones and their role in the mother-to-be's emotional state, but there is no way to redeem such a comment. If you feel compelled to say anything, it should be "You look beautiful" even if it's a complete lie.


There's the personal questions about weight gain. This is a sensitive subject for most women anyway, and the fact that you are gaining weight while doing nothing but breathing doesn't change the fact that a pound is a pound and it is definitely none of the other person's business.


There's the "You sure have your hand's full." If I were paid a nickel for everytime I have heard this, I could diaper this new baby and send all of our children to college.


The most insulting comment I have ever personally received, however, was from a salesman who came to give us an estimate on replacing our furnace when I was about 8 months pregnant with Matthew. Speaking to the boys who attached to my hips but really addressing me (which is always annoying), he says, "Looks like Daddy's been poking fun at Momma and it got a little out of hand!" I was speechless to say the least. After shooing him out the door and recovering from shock, I relayed the encounter to Doug. He so chivalrously declared, "That man is never setting foot inside our house again."