Forget Waterboarding

I really think the U.S. Government needs to take a different approach to interrogating detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Forget the questionable practices like waterboarding and cold cell treatment; instead use two of the nation's best kept secrets.

Method 1: After allowing a preschooler to watch up to an hour of any given program, put him in a room with a subject and allow him repeat verbatim the entire contents of the show plus added embellishments and sound effects.

Method 2: Refuse a toddler's demands such as marshmallows for breakfast and then put him in a small room with detainee while continuing to refuse to cave in to the request, the result being tantrum and/or whining.

I am not aware of any bans by the Geneva Convention and millions of brain-dead parents around the world are living proof that such methods work. "I'll tell you anything you want, just don't leave me for another minute with that kid!"